Follow your dreams/or how to become an illustrator (part 1)

I promised in the last post I'll start writing about my Erasmus experience and about " following your dreams".
Don't get me wrong, I'm not an expert in succeeding, not at all! But I'm starting an unique experience, and in the same time, I decided to make some changes in my life. Consider this a journal where you could find some helpful advice, similar situations and maybe some inspiration for yourself.

In this first part I want to talk about what we consider successful, failures and being objective with ourselves.

1. Being successful
    Lately I met so many people not knowing where they stand, what they want in life, their purpose. I always say it's not wrong not to know what you want because this gives you more possibilities. For example, I don't know if I want to be a fashion photographer or a children's book illustrator. That's fine, I can practice both, become better and better at both, and after a while decide what I like more, or even have 2 options for a job all the time.
Everyone feels scared not knowing what they want. As humans, we need stability, and lately a family does not stand for our supreme goal, a career became the most important target. Others want to travel, see the world, others want children, a beautiful family. We might want a big salary or just doing what we like without a consistent reward. We all are different and being successful means something else for each one of us. That's the best part of free choice and diversity.
I also started feeling insecure about my future. I'm turning 24 in a month! My mother had me at 24! I felt old and totally lost. Then I started thinking what I did until now, what I really want to do in the future.What I did? Nothing considerable for building my future as I like it! I wasted my time for 24 years! That's what I was thinking. What I really want to do? Draw all day long, create something different every day, feel good with myself and have a reason to wake up.

2. Failures
    If you're still reading, here comes the best part, failures. We all have failed and we will fail. We all feel bad about our mistakes and would like to have a time machine to go back and change everything. But that's the beauty of life. Every fail has it's purpose, and if you look at that particular situation better, it's not actually a fail, it's more like a choice, a decision you once made.
When I was depressed, I remembered about a book I read a few years ago: The dark side of the light searchers. I don't remember the author and I don't even know if this is the exact title in English.  Anyway, long story short, it's about getting to know yourself, appreciating who you are, all explained in a non bullshit way. This is one of the best books I've ever read about getting to know who you are. There are many good lessons in this book, but I don't want to write a novel right now :)) so I'll make a post just about this book soon. For the moment I just want to underline the most important idea: there aren't any failures, only choices, there aren't qualities and flaws, just qualities used wisely or thoughtless, there aren't bad or good people, we only see in them what we don't like at ourselves or what we would like to be. 


3. Being objective
    Sometimes I'm harsh and mean with myself. I complain, but never do something about it. "I lost 24 years because I was too scared to do what I really wanted", "I gained weight in the last 3 months because I only work in front of the computer, and in the morning I'm to tired to wake up at 7", "I don't have money because I don't have a job, and my freelancing isn't enough". Then I give myself a good slap and think: "Ok, you lost all this time because you were to scared, but why loose more complaining about it?", "Ok, you didn't do any sports lately, but you can quit smoking and go to the gym with your friends, support each other, and it's fun", "You don't have a job, and you love freelancing, but tell me, how many times you preferred watching a movie, rather than finishing that illustration?". This is how I sound talking to myself :)) So stop complaining, see what you can change with small steps, set up a goal and go for it!


In the next post I'll write about that book, maybe find it and give you a link. I think it's important to understand our mechanism before acting. At least it works better for me since I'm more calculated.